Thursday, August 19, 2010

preparing for life with two.

when we found out we were pregnant with our second baby,
i was so excited i jumped up and down in the bathroom,

but then moments later i felt overwhelmed and very, very nervous.

how was i going to care for not one, but two little people?

would preslee (my daughter) think i loved her less when the baby came?
how was i going to nurse the new baby and give enough love and attention to preslee at the same time?

what if they both woke up in the night at the same time?

these questions ran through my mind for the full nine months.
the day before i had my sweet jonah boy i cried for preslee.
her world was about to be rocked and i felt so worried.

but then he was born.
and it was so amazing to see her staring at his little face and poking his little nose.
she liked him, well at least she was impartial to him:)

and things fell into place.
not every moment was, nor has been, smooth.
but they are brother and sister and their love runs deep,
even at their young ages.

so what can be done to prepare for two?
i would say:

*talk to your child, at their level, a lot about the baby that will be joining your family.

*buy them a baby doll and teach them how to be soft and gentle.

*plan to involve your child in most everything once the baby comes. if you make them feel important and helpful with the baby they will be more apt to enjoy, rather than resent, the time and attention the baby needs.

*realize that there will be moments where two are crying at the same time, where you just wish you had one more hand, where you will be overwhelmed, where adjusting will take time...
those things are normal and to be expected.

and also, realize that you are giving your oldest child a lifelong friend,
you are teaching them that they aren't the only person on the planet to love,
you are giving them a lifelong gift.

shortly after i had my jonah,
i wrote this post about life with two:)
what has helped you prepare for life with two?
love, tam

4 comments:

  1. I think just realizing that there's ways to learn how to share the attention and love you're so used to giving the one. It's possible to have as much love (almost doesn't seem possible) and spread it through the family. Plus like you said they have each other. I LOVE that my girls are so close now, hope they stay best buds forever. I loved how you word everything Tam. Perfect

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  2. This is such a great post. Well said, Tam. Thank you.

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  4. Hey I just came across your blog on my nightly read and I love it! its so cute and everything I am into. we are trying for baby #2 and this was so sweet and helpful. I look forward to following you!

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