welcoming baby maxwell

around 3:45 am, on september 26, i woke up with contractions, but they weren't super intense so i just got up and walked around trying to get comfy. they weren't stopping, so around 4:15 i woke my husband up {it took a good ten minutes for him to actually wake up enough to understand what i was saying} and told him what was going on. he sweetly suggested that i roll over and he'd scratch my back. i didn't think that would do the trick...but i did, and within two seconds of him scratching my back, he was asleep again. i kept trying to get comfortable but nothing was working. this went on for two more hours, until finally i decided that enough was enough. i really didn't want to get sent home from the hospital but at this point, i didn't care. if anything, we would be able to get pre-registered. i finally got danny out of bed and we threw a few essential items into the diaper bag and around 7 am we were on our way to the orem community hospital.

as soon as we arrived, my contractions basically stopped {go figure!} but we went in anyway and checked in. the nurse asked for my name, and i told her, while smiling. i'm sure she thought "she thinks she's in labor...but she's not..." they admitted me to the back, had me change into a gorgeous hospital gown, and minutes later sent a nurse into check me out.

within seconds of checking me, she said, "yup! i feel a head! you are dilated to a four so let's get you admitted and start your i.v. you are going to have a baby before you know it." we couldn't believe it.

the next few hours were a complete blur. ann {my nurse} escorted us back to the room where we would stay/deliver the baby and then she started my i.v. and called the anesthesiologist to get my epidural started. by the time he got there {around 9:30} i still wasn't in a lot of pain but the second i got my epidural...i was in heaven. people tell you epidurals are amazing, but i guess you can't fully appreciate them until you are the one receiving it. after 9:30 am, i didn't feel any pain. at all. it was amazing.

around 11 dr. judd came in and broke my water for me to speed up the process a little bit. he estimated the baby would be born around 4 pm {i was still only at a five} so he left, and danny and i just hung out. still in shock. {i think it was finally starting to sink in that we were about to become parents}

at 12:30 ann checked me again and i was at an eight. she said, "looks like this baby is coming sooner than we thought!" and she went off to call dr. judd. i decided then was a good time to call my mom and have her head over to the hospital and by the time she got there at one, my room was filled with nurses and doctors getting ready to deliver a baby.

at about 1:05 they told me to start pushing...and at 1:13 maxwell scott entered this world. it was the MOST spectacular thing that i have ever witnessed or been a part of. seeing my little boy for the first time was miraculous. i couldn't stop crying. dr. judd made fun of me, telling me i was crying more than the baby.

but seriously, it was wonderful.

i couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

Unmedicated Childbirth — Is it for You?

{Photo courtesy of Forever Bliss photography}

Since we just had a post about epidurals, I figured we'd have one about the alternative too. First, let me echo what Noelle wrote — this is a personal choice and you need to do what you are most comfortable with, and not let other people make you feel inferior for your decision. People can make you feel wimpy for automatically choosing an epidural, and people can make you feel crazy for choosing to skip it. Either way, you will probably get all sorts of opinions from people, but you get to choose how you react to what they say.


There were plenty of people who told me I was crazy for not wanting an edpidural. I remember talking to some friends about my decision when a lady who was standing nearby and heard what I was saying told me her husband was an OB GYN and basically said I had no idea what I was talking about — that childbirth without an epidural is excruciatingly painful and anyone who chooses to do it is loony. That couldn't have been less true for me. Well, maybe I am a little loony but that has nothing to do with my birthing preferences.

Some of my reasons for choosing to go sans epidural included my lifelong fear of needles, my tendency to favor the natural way of doing things especially regarding health (you'd be hard-pressed to even get me to take a Tylenol for a headache), and just plain wanting to see if I could conquer the challenge. I was also a little wary of the side-effects and risks (although rare) epidurals can pose. {Most of my friends and family have had epidurals and had great experiences with them, so I don't think it's anything to seriously worry about.} Whatever you decide, I think there is a lot of value in researching both options so you can make an educated, personal decision and know what you are getting into.

Everyone's childbirth experience is so different, and there are many cases when even though the mother has planned out her ideal chilbirth scenario, things go unexpectedly and they have to adjust their plan or completely throw it out the window. But for those of you who are serious about going unmedicated, here are some things I recommend. Most of these tips would be great for any kind of birth you choose.


Commit to your decision as early as possible.
Even as a teenager, I always thought "natural" childbirth was intriguing. When I got pregnant, I knew I wanted to go that route, but once I started really looking into it I realized it was no walk in the park and that for me to be able to mentally and physically handle it, I would need to commit to that decision 100 percent from the start so I could be prepared. I didn't commit right away, because I knew once I did, I wasn't going to retreat. I needed time to decide if I was up to the task and if it would be worth it. After a lot of thinking, praying, reading and talking to people who  had experienced childbirth with and without epidurals, I decided to commit. There were definitely still times when I questioned myself and got scared, but as I tried to stay confident and positive, I felt excited for the challenge.


Take a specialized class.
I took a Hypnobabies course about a month before my due date, and for me, it was the key to being able to give birth without the edpidural while staying relaxed and positive. Hypnosis for childbirth definitely sounded hokey to me at first, but it isn't as wierd as it sounds. It just teaches you powerful relaxation techniques that work wonders if you jump into the training with both feet. But even if I had gone the epidural route, the things I learned in the course would still have helped me immensely. Epidural or not, you are going to feel some contractions, and learning what to expect and how to relax your mind and body makes them a lot easier to deal with. Also, the course teaches you a ton about pregnancy and childbirth so you can see the whole picture and make the decisions that are best for you. One of the things I like best about the course is that it encourages a positive outlook on labor, which is so valuable especially with the inevitable horror stories that surround pregnant women. This is who I took my Hypnobabies course from. Worth every penny.

Stay positive.
There are undoubtedly going to be times when you question your ability to do this. You're inevitably going to hear a lot of horror stories. People are probably going try to talk you out of your decision. But you are not them and their horrible experiences are not yours (Hypnobabies does a great job of teaching you how to enter your bubble of peace whenever people talk negatively about childbirth). You can do this. Stick with your decision and be excited and confident about it every single day, even if you have to tell yourself affirmations in the mirror (or listen to them on your Hypnobabies CD).  


Get a doula.
Don't know what a doula does? Click here. You may have the same hesitations I did when I first heard about doulas. I thought I wanted the least amount of people in that delivery room as possible, and inviting some lady I didn't even know to witness such a personal experience didn't make sense to me. And I figured my husband or my mom could help in the same way she did. Not so. Believe me — if you get a great doula (like Melissa) you won't regret it. She was on call for me from the time I hired her early in my pregnancy until a couple of weeks after I gave birth. Actually, I still contact her once in awhile with my questions! It was so comforting to always know I could call her, even in the wee hours of the morning with questions or concerns. She instilled confidence in me that I was more than strong enough to have a wonderful unmedicated childbirth. She came to my house as soon as I felt like labor had begun. She was chipper, even though it was 3 a.m. and she had a 36-hour birthing marathon ahead of her. She made meals for us, put pain-relieving pressure on my back during contractions, helped me find comfortable positions, helped me know what was going on and when to go to the hospital, she stayed by my side while Clay got some much-needed rest, she helped communicate to the hospital staff how I wanted things to go, and she helped us both stay calm and reassured during my 36-hour labor (most of which was spent at home),which brings me to my next tip:


Plan to labor at home as long as possible. 
You will be much more comfortable and much less likely to get an epidural. For me, I wasn't even dilated enough to be admitted after 19 1/2 hours of labor at home. While that long isn't the norm, most (not all, but most) first-time moms do experience a pretty long first stage of labor.


Bring a birthing ball.
I would not have been able to do it without my big, pink exercise ball. It is amazing how getting into different positions on the ball eased the pressure of my contractions. I used it throughout my entire labor.


Make a music mix.
You've heard about all the studies about how music can ease stress and depression and just plain make you happy. That definitely comes in handy during labor. I made a calm, wordless mix for when I needed to rest and relax and an upbeat mix for when I needed extra energy and had to get down to business. The delivery staff loved working to some good tunes too. Feel free to e-mail me if you want to know the songs I had on my labor day mix.

Be flexible.
Do everything you can to prepare for the birth of your dreams, but remember this is something you and your body have never done before. Your labor may be harder or longer than you expect and there may be unforeseen complications. If you end up deciding an epidural is in the best interest for you and your baby, don't beat yourself up over it. A safe, healthy, happy baby (and mom) is the first priority here. And when you hold your own sweet baby in your arms, how he or she got there probably isn't going to seem so important anymore. 

You can read my full birth story here. And I am more than happy to answer your questions or give you pep talks :)

—Kim

Getting an Epidural — Is it for You?

So epidurals. If you look anywhere on the Internet, you’re going to find myriad studies that say epidurals do cause labor to slow down and increase the risk of C-sections and fetal distress, and you’re going to find just as many that say the exact opposite. Basically, it’s hard to create an end-all study with so many factors at play, such as obstetrical monitoring, amount and type of medication used, patient factors (which vary a great deal), and investigator bias.



Anyway, this post would be uber long if we went into all those studies here, so my best advice is to do your research and talk to your doctor—and also to refrain from judging other moms who made the opposite choice you did. If you elected natural childbirth, you’re not morally superior to the mom who got an epidural as soon as possible. And if you got an epidural, the natural crowd isn’t crazy. All I’ve got for ya is my opinion and experience, so take from it what you will.


I opted in favor of an epidural for a few reasons, the most important of which I didn’t want to be so exhausted from hours of contractions that I was too zonked out to fully appreciate the arrival of my baby. I was in labor for a long time, and from my experience with the contractions I had before I received my epidural, I knew I would have been completely dead by the time my baby arrived—eighteen hours later. I also wanted to spend the last hours with my husband sans baby in relative peace instead of pain (I know some of you feel that pain is a mental thing, but let’s just agree to disagree on that point.) One other point I’d like to make here: I was super nervous about a big needle being inserted into my back. But it was just the mental image I needed to get past. Reality was totally fine. The anesthesiologist will give you a shot with an itty bitty needle first to numb the area and then give you the epidural. All I felt was the prick of the first needle, and was nothing compared to a contraction.


An epidural was right for me. It helped me feel like myself, and it helped me focus on what was happening around me. It also made contractions a breeze. However, an epidural might not be for you. I’d also like to point out that good advice was given in a previous post—even if you are 100 percent planning on an epidural, be prepared for the possibility (don’t worry, it’s relatively unlikely, but still) that you might not be able to get one if the right combination of events align.
 
—Noelle

What to Expect (and What not to Expect) on your Labor Day

"Hee, hee, hoo" are the gentle sounds of my breathing, the lights are dimmed with soft music playing in the background. My epidural kicked in hours ago and I am sleeping through contractions while my husband holds my hand. The Dr. arrives, and with just a few pushes, my precious baby is out and placed in my arms.

Oh wait, that was just a dream.

Although for many, labor has been known to be just as dreamy — for many, it has not.

After all, it is called "labor" for a reason.

So, what I'm going to tell you is to expect the unexpected, while remembering through it all that the reward is great.

When I went to the hospital to give birth to my little boy, I had planned on an epidural.

For various reasons, no epidural was received.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

Before I went in to give birth I expected the nurses would treat me and my baby like just another patient coming through, but instead they were especially kind, going out of their way to hold my baby and visit with me.

And although my labor was completely different than what I had expected, it was beautiful all the same.

If you ask me, nothing makes you feel stronger than giving birth to a sweet new baby.

So, here are some things I think you can expect:

You might have some Braxton Hicks contractions well before your baby is ready to come. While these can be annoying and even sleep-depriving, know they are preparing your mind and body for the real thing.

When the real thing has begun, your contractions will get increasingly more intense and closer together. The best thing you can do in early labor is try your best to get some sleep. Your body is about to run the marathon of labor.

The majority of hospitals won't admit you until you are dilated to four centimeters.

You will most likely have a support team (nurses, doctor, significant other) there to cheer you on.

If you are prepared, your experience will be more pleasant (study up on natural birthing techniques even if you are planning on receiving an epidural. Epidural or not, approach labor with a strong, positive mind, believing you are strong and that your body was made to do this.

The pain of labor will end, whether by epidural or by the actual arrival of your baby.

If you deliver in a hospital, you will most likely be moved into a separate recovery room after your baby is born. Most woman stay in the hospital for 24 to 48 hours after delivery.

One thing is certain — your life will be changed forever, for good :)
happy laboring.

—tamara

stay tuned for tomorrow's post on what to pack for the hospital!

To Doula or Not to Doula?

Wondering what a doula does? You're about to get the answer. 

This post comes from Doula Melissa, a certified birth doula and birth doula trainer with DONA International. She's based out of Utah and is in seriously high demand, so you have to book her fast. And believe me, you want to. It was because of this woman that my husband and I had such an awesome birth experience. Read on!

—Kim

Easier Labor and Birth? Yes!

When I tell people what I do, some people still say, "You're a what?" But when I started, 14 years ago, almost no one knew what a doula was. In the years since, pregnancy magazines, birth books, blogs and doctors offices have touted doulas as the greatest new help for laboring mamas.
Birth doulas accompany women and their partners in labor, providing emotional support and physical comfort. They facilitate communication with caregivers to keep clients fully informed, provide reassurance and perspective and help with pain management, relaxation, positioning and other labor support techniques.

The word doula comes from the Greek word meaning "a woman who serves." Studies have shown that a doula’s presence at births results in shorter labors with less complications, fewer requests for pain medications and/or epidurals and a reduction in labor-enhancing drugs (Pitocin), forceps, vacuum extraction and cesareans. Doula care has also been shown to reduce the frequency and severity of postpartum depression.

I started on the path of childbirth professional in 1994 when I had my first baby. I had a very difficult yet empowering and ultimately very good experience because I had been so well educated by an amazing childbirth educator. Soon after, I myself became certified as a childbirth educator. I was thrilled to be working with pregnant women and two years later became a certified doula. I've since worked with hundreds of pregnant and birthing women and their partners. In 2002 I became an approved doula trainer with DONA International, and have been privileged to train many, many women in the art of "doula-ing."

As a doula, I typically do a prenatal visit with my client one to two months before her due date. Here we discuss what kind of birth she wants, what comfort measures she likes, how involved her partner wants to be and how I can facilitate that role, and many other things. I attend the entire labor and birth, beginning when she needs me, applying the tools and techniques mentioned above, and stay one to two hours postpartum to make sure she's comfortable and that breastfeeding is going well.

I always do free consultations so you can meet me, ask me questions, and decide if I'm the right fit for you. Please contact me if you're interested in a consultation or if you have any questions.

Blessings in Birth!melissa@rawmelissa.com